Police Jokes

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs? None. He fell.

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your wife?
New Recruit: Call for backup!

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a bit and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

Many, many more cop jokes here.