Men and Women: Showers

How To Shower Like a Woman:

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
• If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
• Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
• Get in the shower.
• Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
• Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
• Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
• Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
• Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
• Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
• Rinse conditioner off hair.
• Shave armpits and legs.
• Turn off shower.
• Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
• Spray mold spots with Tilex.
• Get out of shower.
• Dry with towel the size of a small country.
• Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
• Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
• Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
• If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  

How To Shower Like a Man:

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to the bathroom.
• If you see wife along the way, shake dick at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
• Admire the size of your dick and scratch your ass.
• Get in the shower.
• Wash your face.
• Wash your armpits.
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
• Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
• Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
• Wash your hair.
• Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
• Pee.
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Partially dry off.
• Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
• Admire dick size in mirror again.
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
• If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake dick at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
• Throw wet towel on bed.

Stolen from The Goose