Getting too Sporty

I'm noticing that it's getting a little sporty right now. Humour, politics, opinion and most importantly chicks are taking a back seat. Nevertheless, fear not, after the Bahrainian (sp?) GP, LFC v Arsenal and England v France in the 6 Nations things will be back to normal - hopefully?

Six Nations Set-Up

Irelands win over Scotland will set up a winner-takes-all game with England, should the English beat their French counterparts tomorrow. Both have yet to play each other and have, so far, only lost one game each (England to Scotland - beaten today by the Irish, and Ireland to France - England next opponents).

It great to see such close competition right 'til the end. Finally it means something to win it - even if a grand slam is not achieved along with it. I'll be pulling for the English tomorrow and hoping they can over come the Irish in the final game.

Bahrain GP Grid Positions

1. Michael Schumacher (Ferrari)
2. Felipe Massa (Ferrari)
3. Jenson Button (Honda)
4. Fernando Alonso (Renault)
5. Juan Pablo Montoya (McLaren-Mercedes)
6. Rubens Barrichello (Honda)
7. Mark Webber (Williams-Cosworth)
8. Christian Klien (RBR-Ferrari)
9. Giancarlo Fisichella (Renault)
10. Nick Heidfeld (Sauber-BMW)
11. Jacques Villeneuve (Sauber-BMW)
12. Nico Rosberg (Williams-Cosworth)
13. David Coulthard (RBR-Ferrari)
14. Jarno Trulli (Toyota)
15. Vitantonio Liuzzi (STR-Cosworth)
16. Scott Speed (STR-Cosworth)
17. Ralf Schumacher (Toyota)
18. Christijan Albers (MF1-Toyota)
19. Tiago Monteiro (MF1-Toyota)
20. Takuma Sato (Super Aguri-Honda)
21. Yuji Ide (Super Aguri-Honda)
22. Kimi Räikkönen (McLaren-Mercedes)

Formula One Returns

I can't believe I almost missed this, but the first Grand Prix of 2006 is about to start in Bahrain. Schumacher has taken pole and is joined by his team mate, Brazilian Felipe Massa. Jesson Button (GBR) and reigning champion Fernando Alonso (Spain) are on the second row.

Kimi Raikkonen became the first victim of Formula One's new qualifying system and will start from the back of the grid. The six slowest cars are eliminated after each of two 15-minute sessions before a top-10 shoot-out determines the front of the grid.

Raikkonen suffered a suspension failure at high speed, pitching him into a spin which almost resulted in a roll as his stricken car bounced over a trailing tyre. He had yet to set a lap time in the first knock-out session, and his McLaren was too damaged to resume after a red flag.

Here are the F1 dates for 2006:

Champions League Draw

The draw for the Quarter-Finals & Semi-Finals of the Champions League was made today. Liverpool's opponents (had we gone through) would have been FC Barcelona - what a great game that would've been, instead it will probably see Benfica get completely destroyed.

My two top pics are facing top Italian opposition, Juventus for Arsenal, and AC Milan for Lyon. I'll be gald to see AC go out at an early stage (i.e. the quarter finals), but I will be sorry to see Juve knocked out.

As for the other tie Villarreal vs Inter Milan or Ajax, I personally hope that Inter finish the job and take Villarreal out right after, it would be great to rub in AC's noses if their city rivals progress when they don't.

Quarter final first legs will take place on the 28th/29th of March with the return legs on the 4th/5th of April. Semi finals will be played on the 18th/19th of April (1st leg) and the 25th/26th (2nd leg). The final will, of course be played at the Stade de France in Paris on Wednesday the 17 of May, 2006.

Not Goodbye, Just Au Revior For Now

Gerrard eyes the trophy he expects to have back in his arms next year.

The new European Champion Clubs' Cup has made its maiden public appearance at the traditional handover ceremony that took place ahead of the UEFA Champions League quarter-final and semi-final draw in the Salle des Fêtes, at the Hôtel de Ville, in Paris.

It is the sixth model produced after Liverpool claimed the fifth one for good after that amazing night in Instanpool. AC Milan (6) and Real Madrid (9) also have one for winning the trophy more than 5 times, while Bayern Munich (1974-76) and Ajax (1971-73) have one for winning the competition three-times in-a-row. Both Bayern and Ajax have won the trophy a total of four times, although only the later has a chance of being the first club to own two trophies, as Bayern were knocked out in the last round.

Of the other teams left AC Milan lead the way with six trophies, Benfica and the other two remaining Italian teams (Juventus and Inter) all have two each, while Barcelona (rather surprisingly) only has the one, although they did win the now defunct Cup Winners Cup a record four times. Lyon, Villarreal and Arsenal have yet to win the biggest European trophy, although the later won the European Cup Winner's Cup back in 1993.

Personally I'm expecting the trophy to be in new hands come May 17, 2006 as I predict an Arsenal v Lyon final.

Great View Of Paris

Click the above picture to see the full 360 degree photo of Paris at night (14929 x 526, 1.8Mb).

I tried doing an animated scroll for this, but there was just too much work to be done to make it look smooth, while staying big enough to see and small enough to up/download.

Bareback Mounting Parodies

I've seen about 4 or 5 of these, but Daily Sixer has managed to pull together 35+.

If you ask me it was all of these parodies that led to Bareback getting the Oscar for Best Original Score; familiarity is a big part an award like that!

Now I just wish I could find a way to download them so I don't have to wait for the stupid video buffer to stream!!!

Well Done & Good Luck Gooners

While every other English side failed, Arsenal (the only one failing in the Prem) soared, beating the mighty (at least on paper) Galacticos of Real Madrid.

Of course I'd rather Liverpool be through and typically I would never support another English team in Europe (games = money = bigger rival in the transfer market). However, I've always had a certain soft spot for the Gunners (most likely because they have been the only real challengers to ManScum over the last few years).

Also I'd love to see Henry stay in the Prem (as long as it's not with ManScum or Chel$ki) and winning the trophy is probably Arsenal's best chance of keeping the player. Finally, I reckon Tottenham will finish fourth come the end of the season and just think of the hilarity if Arsenal win and Spurs get dumped into the UEFA Cup, oh the message boards will be a joy to behold. :D

Of course, despite the goodwill that I'm currently showing the Reds from London, I hope we stuff you when we come down there on Sunday!

Other than that I get a sneaky suspicsion that Lyon will make it all the way and it would be nice to see our old manager lifting a trophy that we are not/no longer competing in.

Oh yeah and well done to Benfica. X(

What an Amazing Tease!

As seen on Break.com

Student Joke

The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said: "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal." The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.

Lily put up her hand. "Yes, Lily?"

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher.

He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:
-> First, you have NOT done your homework.
-> Second, you have a DIRTY mind.
-> And thirdly, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed."

Maid Joke

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.

The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid.", answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid!"

"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."

"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

"Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with."

The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.

The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"

"What?! There's no pool here?"

Long pause... "Uh .... is this 832-4821?"

Police Jokes

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs? None. He fell.

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your wife?
New Recruit: Call for backup!

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a bit and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

Many, many more cop jokes here.

SHC: Stacy Keibler

How do you get over a disppointing loss? By feasting your eyes on the georgeous Stacy Keibler.

Stacy, long known by a whole hoard of WWE (formally WWF) wrestling fans, has widened her audience after appearing on Dancing with the Stars. She (like LFC) exited a tournament, she was destined to win, far too early.

When Stacy Keibler struts down the aisle at World Wrestling Entertainment shows to Kid Rock's rendition of the ZZ Top classic "Legs," people momentarily forget they came to see a wrestling match. The blonde, fresh-faced WWE Diva is blessed with an amazing set of 41-and-a-half inch gams. "From a young age, I realized that my legs were special," said Stacy, who often makes a big production of bending forward to separate the ring ropes, allowing fans a quick peek at her undies.

The former model and Baltimore Ravens cheerleader admits she's always been a bit of a show-off: "When I got into the wrestling business, I'd do a little dance or shake my booty to get the people excited. But I never imagined how popular it would become."

When asked which body parts (besides her legs) do people seem to go crazy over, she replied "I get a lot of comments about my ass," citing a coment made by another wrestler during a BRA AND PANTIES MATCH (!) What am I missing - I've got to start watching this stuff. All I've ever seen of wrestling has been in the "Ready to Rumble" film.

One thing's for certain she does has amazing legs, but she also has the finest looking arse that I've seen on a white chick!

For additional pictures, bio, updated news visit her Official site.

Click here for Wikipedia's entry on this amazing babe.

The WWE and WWE Babe of the Year sites.

More pictures here, here and here. UPDATE: Very large image library here at the Goose.

Champions League Updates

• Full Time: Liverpool's striker worries continue as all of their four stikers fail to score during the game and Liverpool go out with a wimper. The defence of their title lost and all that early season work during the qualifiers gone to waste.
  
  All that is left this season is the FA Cup (2nd place means nothing), but to do that they are likely to have to get past a strong Chel$ki side and/or a revitalised Newcastle team, captained by a determined Alan Shearer, who would love nothing more than to win silverwear (for his home club) in his last year as a player.
  
  
• 89 Mins: Benfica seal the tie as Miccoli scores for the portugeuse team and LFC go tumbling out of the Champpions League.
  
  
• 80 Mins: With just 10 minutes left of regular time, it is looking bleak for Liverpool. If the game finishes this way and Inter Milan win their tie, Liverpool will be the only team, that topped their group, not to go through to the last 8.
  
  
• 71 Mins: Substitutions en mass now as Fowler replaces Morientes and Hamman replaces Warnock, while Benfica bring on Ricardo Rocha for Robert. COM'MON YOU REDS!
  
  
• 66 Mins: At this stage against Milan, Liverpool had already pulled level; against Olympiacos they had pulled one goal back. The champions' crown is hanging by a thread.
  
  
• 63 Mins: Cisse in Kewell Out. Let's hope this makes a change for the better.
  
  
• 62 Mins: With just under 30 minutes left in the tie, Rafa Benitez has surely got to introduce Cisse and/or Fowler into the frey soon.

In other ties AC Milan are now 5-2 (!) up on aggregate (4-1 on the night). Lyon are also 3-0 up (4-0 on agg.)

Half-Time Scores and Predictions

• Liverpool start the second half knowing that their mis-firing stikers need to put three past Benfica in the second half. They did it twice last season against AC Milan and Olympiacos, can they do it again? Benfica currently lead 1-0 on the night and 2-0 on aggregate.
  
  
• AC are 3-2 up on aggregate (2-1 on the night). A goal by Bayern though will see the Germans go through on away goals.
  
  
• Arsenal are still gridlocked against Real and will need to keep a clean sheet to win the tie in the next 45.
  
  
• Lyon are 2-0 up on the night (3-0 on aggregate) and looking likely to going though.
  

Champions League Games

Four more teams are currently playing to join Juventus, Barcelona and Villarreal for the quarter finals of the Champions League.

Predictions

• Liverpool v Benfica: I have a gut feeling that this will be another Olympiacos, but only if Liverpool take the opposition seriously. We have Gerrard as always but who do we have to fill in the roles of Pongolle and Mellor, step in Cisse and Fowler?
  
  
• Arsenal v Real Madrid: I'm not sure of goals here, although I think Henry is likely to score and the Gunners are likely to go through.
  
  
• Lyon v PSV: A goal up away from hope and a comprehensive win at home will see the French team continue their march...to the final.
  
  
• AC Milan v Bayern Munich: I'm hoping for a German victory here, but I'm expecting Milan to go through with a win at the San Siro. There's hope though that Bayern could get a high scoring draw and go through on away goals.
  

As I type this Benfica have just scored. Don't expect any goals (3) from LFC until the second half :p

Here are the mighty reds in training at Melwood before the big game. More can be found here.

LFC v Benfica Build-Up

Robbie Fowler gives his thoughts (lfc.tv) on tonight crunch Champions League game against Benfica. Coach Koeman, is fearful of Gerrard (lfc.tv), but has dobts over Liverpool's scoring ability (icLiverpool.co.uk). Garcia thins otherwise and expects the strikers to shine (lfc.tv), as Paul Tomkins enthuses, "Let the magic ensue" (lfc.tv). Meanwhile Gerrard intends to show Benfica, just why Liverpool are the current champions of Europe (lfc.tv).

SHC #3: Stacy Dash

I had to bring this back to the forefront. I was planning on adding Oscar winner Reese or the unbelievably hot Adriana Lima, but this Super Hot Chick needed some filling out first.

Born in the Bronx on January 20, Stacy has been always been in more a supporting roles, which include the NewAge-HotChick, Monique, in TV101 - a Canadian show which also featured Matt LeBlanc as a dumb jock and a teacher by the name of Kevin Keegan(!), played by Sam Robards (the father in A.I.)

After that she sadly disappeared from my life, until she played the love interest for the older Wayans brother who steals her away from Harry Lennix (the Matrix's Commander Lock) in Mo' Money. Once again she was the best thing in the show. She resurfaced later in the Alicia Silverstone hit Clueless as Dion (Cher's best friend), a role she reprised on the a TV show based on the same film (sans Alicia as Cher.)


After that she's been in and out of various roles, but none that I've been lucky enough to see. She turned 40 just last month, but still looks amazingly hot, as this pictures testify.

Click here for Stacy's IMDB bio.

Click here for more pics.

Priceless...Again !

Champions League - Updates

With about 10 minutes left to go in the ties: Barcelona have scored to go 3-1 on agg, Juve have scored to close in Werder Bremen and are 3-4 on agg, Villarreal have scored to lead Rangers on away goals.

Just moments until full-time and Juve have scored their second goal to go ahead on away goals, Chel$ki look like failing in Europe again, Rangers have only moment to try and score as the Villarreal players go down like they are shot every time they get fouled, which is happening a lot now.

It's all over now! Juve came back to win the tie, scoring two goals in the second half, Chel$ki are dumped out once again despite Lampard's late penanty (sweet revenge for Barca after last years shinanigans) and Rangers are out (as most likely is McLeish) after some rather dodgy tactics by Villarreal. Expect Le Guen in charge by the weekend.

Champions League - Half-Time Scores & Predictions

• Barcelona are still ahead on aggregate as the battle of the Nou Camp against Chel$ki remains 0-0.
  Prediction: Barcelona will score one or two goals and win both legs.
  
  
• Rangers are 1-0 up away to Villarreal, and are ahead 3-2 on agreegate.
  Prediction: a-goal-a-piece in the second half will see Rangers make it into the quarter finals (4-3 on agg.)
  
  
• Werder Bremen are 1-0, and are now 4-2 against Juventus!
  Prediction: Juve will score twice and win on away goals.
  
  

Chelsea Versus the World

We all hate Roman, we all hate Moaninho, we call hate the scumbat glory hunters, we pity the lifelong Chelsea fans who have had to put up with all the abuse, but for now we all cheer on the mighty FC Barcelona.

Here's how it starts:

• Pre-match: Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho made his intentions clear by springing a selection surprise and abandoning his favourite formation to play Arjen Robben up front with Didier Drogba. Damien Duff and Joe Cole started wide, with Claude Makelele and Frank Lampard, fit after his hamstring injury, starting in the heart of midfield. Spanish champions Barcelona will start with the same team which began at Stamford Bridge two weeks ago.
• Pre-match: Mourinho was greeted with shrieking whistles and jeers as he stepped onto the immaculate Nou Camp turf, ahead of the kick-off. The Chelsea boss had promised to deflect the heat from his players by revelling in the role of arch-villain to Barca's boo-boys but his players were also given a hostile welcome into the famous arena despite Frank Rijkaard's plea for fans to applaud the Barclays Premiership champions and their controversial manager.
• 7:43pm GMT: In scenes reminiscent of the weekend, Chelsea keep Barcelona waiting for a few minutes in the tunnel. The match is due to start in two minutes and only Petr Cech has so far appeared!
• 7:45pm GMT: The players belatedly enter the arena to a deafening noise from the near 100,000 crowd - John Terry leading his Chelsea troops out while Carles Puyol heads the Barca line-up.
  

Follow the game live here

Photo stolen from Evil Dan's Blog.

The Lion, the Giesha & the Gay Cowboys

It was supposed to be a very gay evening in Hollywood. John Stewart (who kept many of his political quips low-key) hosted a rather drab show which included a burning car with people moving around in slow motion.

Many watched to see Bareback Mounting get shafted (sic) by one of the all-time biggest Oscar upsets; Paul Haggis' underdog favorite, Crash, won the 2006 Academy Award for Best Picture, besting the gay cowboy movie that most of the experts said would win. Crash, also took top honors for Best Original Screenplay and Film Editing.

Bareback, nominated for eight awards, didn't go home empty-handed, winning Best Director for Ang Lee, plus awards for Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Original Score.

The top acting awards went to Philip Seymour Hoffman for his portrayal of Capote, and to Reese Witherspoon for her take on June Carter Cash in Walk the Line. Supporting acting nods went to "Out-Of-Touch" George Clueless (who beat out a more deserving Matt Dillon) and Rachel Weisz (for playing the same kind of character she plays in EVERY film she does). Clueless's acting nomination, coupled with his directing nomination for Good Night, and Good Luck, made him the first person to ever receive directing and acting recognition for two different films in the same year.

Winning in the Foreign Film category was Gavin Hood's excellent South African film Tsotsi.

Peter Jackson's King Kong won awards in Visual Effects, Sound Editing, and Sound Mixing while the ultra-chickflick Memoirs of a Geisha also won three oscars, in Cinematography, Art Direction and Costume Design.

Meanwhile, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe won for Achievement in Makeup, beating out Lucas' Star Wars III; March of the Penguins took home Best Documentary for being the only documentary people actually watched; and Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit was somehow named the top animated film, despite being the worst of only 3 nominated films.

Hollywood showed again that with George CLueless as their king that they were all living in La-La-Land when "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from the film Hustle and Flow, won for Best Song. Yes those poor pimps it must be so tough out there killing people and beating up on their "bitches". What a sad state of affairs.


A full list of winners can be found at the official Oscars website.

The fact that San Fransisco and New York (location says a lot) had a 55 share of the TV ratings, just goes to show how big a show some had hoped these awards would be. In the end they had to settle for Best Director (somewhat deserved), Best Adapted Screenplay (from a hribble list of nominees) and stealing Best Musical Score from Memoirs of a Geisha (probably due to the familiarity of it with all the BB take-off trailers circulating around the web).

On a personal note, I have to admit it's great looking around the office at all the lefty liberals with glum faces today. Typically, they would be beaming and talking all about the awards. As of yet no one has said a thing!

Egotastic! has a whole bunch of photos of the celebs from last night here.

You can search by actor name here at the Oscar's official site.

Bareback Oscars

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Awards are ongoing right now, I'll talk more about it afterwards. Bareback Mounting and George Clueless are probably going to be doing well at this heavily partisan award show.

Best Film

• Nominees: Bareback Mounting, Capote, Crash, Goodnight Night & Good Luck, Munich.
• Who should win: Walk the Line or Cinderella Man - (but since they weren't nominated!)... Crash
• Who's likely to win: Bareback Mounting, Capote, or Goodnight Night & Good Luck
• Who they'd like it to be: Bareback Mounting
• WINNER: CRASH!

Best Actor

• Nominees: Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote), Terrence Howard (Hustle & Flow), Heath Ledger (Bareback Mounting), Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line), David Strathairn (Good Night, Good Luck)
• Who should win: Joaquin Phoenix
• Who's likely to win: Philip Seymour Hoffman or David Strathairn
• Who they'd like it to be: Heath Ledger
• WINNER: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Best Actress

• Nominees: Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents), Felicity Huffman (Transamerica), Keira Knightley (Pride & Predjudice), Charlize Theron (North Country), Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line)
• Who should win: Reese Witherspoon
• Who's likely to win: Reese Witherspoon
• Who they'd like it to be: Felicity Huffman
• WINNER: Reese Witherspoon

Best Supporting Actor

• Nominees: George Clueless (Syriana), Matt Dillon (Crash), Paul Giamatti (Cinderella Man), Jake Gyllenhaal (Bareback Mounting), William Hurt (A History of Violence)
• Who should win: Matt Dillon or Paul Giamatti
• Who's likely to win: George Clueless or Jake Gyllenhaal
• Who they'd like it to be: George Clueless or Jake Gyllenhaal
• WINNER: George Clueless

Best Supporting Actress

• Nominees: Amy Adams (Junebug), Catherine Keener (Capote), Frances McDormand (North Country), Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener), Michelle Williams (Bareback Mounting)
• Who should win: Amy Adams or Michelle Williams
• Who's likely to win: Rachel Weisz
• Who they'd like it to be: Michelle Williams
• WINNER: Rachel Weisz

Best Director

• Nominees: Ang Lee (Bareback Mounting),Bennett Miller (Capote), Paul Haggis (Crash), George Clueless (Good Night & Good Luck), Steven Speilberg (Munich)
• Who should win: Paul Haggis
• Who's likely to win:
• Ang LeeWho they'd like it to be:
• George Clueless or Ang Lee
• WINNER: Ang Lee

Best Adapted Screenplay

• Nominees: Bareback Mounting, Capote, The Constant Gardener, A History of Violence, Munich
• Who should win: Capote
• Who's likely to win: Bareback Mounting or Munich
• Who they'd like it to be: Bareback Mounting
• WINNER: Bareback Mounting

Best Original Screenplay

• Nominees: Crash, Goodnight Night & Good Luck, Match Point, The Squid & The Whale, Syriana
• Who should win: Squid
• Who's likely to win: Goodnight Night & Good Luck or Syriana
• Who they'd like it to be: Goodnight Night & Good Luck
• WINNER: Crash

Best Editing

• Nominees: Cinderella Man, The Constant Gardener, Crash, Munich, Walk the Line
• Who should win: Crash
• Who's likely to win: Munich
• Who they'd like it to be: Munich
• WINNER: Crash