Two Mars Bars And A Slurpee

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Don't try to understand this

The term 'Only in America' must surely now be surpassed by 'Only in Japan'

Your Mission...(should you decide to take it)...

is to open a car door:

As seen on Break.com

This poor sod's career is just getting worse and worse - what a twat !!!

I love it when girls share their stuff



Of course it's a whole different story if guys decide to share.

Men and Women: Showers


How To Shower Like a Woman:
  • Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  • Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
  • Get in the shower.
  • Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
  • Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  • Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  • Rinse conditioner off hair.
  • Shave armpits and legs.
  • Turn off shower.
  • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  • Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  • Get out of shower.
  • Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  • Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  • Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:
  • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk naked to the bathroom.
  • If you see wife along the way, shake dick at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  • Admire the size of your dick and scratch your ass.
  • Get in the shower.
  • Wash your face.
  • Wash your armpits.
  • Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  • Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  • Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  • Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  • Wash your hair.
  • Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  • Pee.
  • Rinse off and get out of shower.
  • Partially dry off.
  • Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
  • Admire dick size in mirror again.
  • Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
  • Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
  • If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake dick at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
  • Throw wet towel on bed.
Stolen from The Goose

Sex IQ

Just how good are you in the bedroom, kitchen, car, where ever, click the image to take the test.

Bonus Point: When it asks for your name at the start (don't worry it won't ask for your e-mail address or anything, etc.) use your screenhandle or a nickname - the more rique the name the higher the score.