Lazy Saturday Links

• The Liverpool's Way Fulham report.
• Paris is burning at Barking Moonbat.
• Split rumours (Dlisted) are pissing Reese Witherspoon off (Socialite) - look at Comment #11 for the real answer.
• Tom Cruise is continuing to be an arsehole at IDLYITW. Issac Hayes is an Arsehole too after quiting 'cause South Park had an anti-Scientolgy episode. I guess as long as you're just insulting the Christians, Muslims, Buddists, and Jews, it's alright hey Issac!
• Girls give advice on how to get more head at Points in Case.
• Lohan seems be joining a stong cast for a movie remake of a Soap Opera (Dark Hat) - please let it be a comedy.
• Great pics at This is Anfield and Dlisted.
  

Saturday Football

An interesting set of Saturday's games in the Premiership. Obviously the most important one was the West Brom v ManScum; a win for Robson's side would have meant Liverpool would still be within 2 points of Scum and a chance to go second on Sunday (even if having played two games more).

As it turned out they did what was more likely and promptly succumbed to the Scum. Arsenal continued their mini revival by beating Charlton 3-0, moving into 4th spot (at least until Spurs play later - currently in the 60th minute). Other games of no importance were played including the 4-1 beating Aston Villa by the Toffees.

However, there were two other games that would typically have no importance but were affected dramatically by another cock-up by the FA and/or Sky-TV. Both Man City and West Ham fielded much weakened sides in today's Prem games against Wigan and Pompy, respectively. On paper it was a bigger risk for City than the Hammers, but ultimately the results were the same for both as both teams lost points.

What pisses me off about this is that a proper game was avoided, because both teams were more concerned with the FA Cup which they have to play each other in just two days! Why such a short gap? Well because they want to televise all of the quarter-finals! The FA want to blame the man exiting (Sven) for the problem saying that the England team wanted an earlier finish to the season.

In truth that's simply bollocks, it's all about TV/Sky and the money that comes from it! A more sensible option would be to double up on the Wednesday night and play two of the games them leaving one each on Tuesday and Thursday. The FA's typical greed/incompetence has brought this about and shame on them.

Interestingly this situation has had knock-on effects as Pompy beat the weakened Hammers 4-2 alleviating their worries at the bottom, together with West Brom's loss to Scum and a likely defeat to Brum by Spurs, Harry could find his team just one win (and a sizable goal difference) from escaping the bottom three. Perhaps the answer to this all is that someone at the FA or Sky is really a Pompy fan!?

UPDATE: Spurs are currently 1-0, leaving Brum in the bottom three and helping Spurs leapfrog Arsenal into fourth or more importantly 6 points away from the 'pool.

Full-Time Spurs wins 2-0: so Tottenham moves back into fourth and Pompy are now only 3 points (+GD) from safety.

Get Ready for March Madness

March Madness (College Basketball Knockout Tournament for those of you outside the States) is officially underway, with one second remaining this guy rebounds and hits a full court shot to win by one point (there are no 3-pointers in College/High School Basketball...I think).

As seen on Break.com

Canned Creations

FunMansion have some interesting pictures of models that are made entirely from different drink cans.

Presumably these are the hands of the people who make them:

Baby Reds Make The Final

Liverpool's youngsters are into the final of the FA Youth Cup after goalkeeper David Roberts emulated Jerzy Dudek's Istanbul heroics by saving two penalties, in a heroic 5-4 shoot-out win over Southampton at St Mary's.

Liverpool were seconds away from reaching the final in normal time but an own goal from Jack Hobbs in the fourth minute of stoppage time earned Southampton an equaliser. A cross came in from the right hand side and Hobbs, on the stretch, turned the ball past his own goalkeeper David Roberts to earn the Saints a lifeline. That made the scoreline 3-3 on aggregate and forced extra-time. Then after the aggregate scoreline of 4-4 at the end of extra-time, Liverpool won the penalty shoot-out thanks to the brilliance of Roberts.

Read more of Steve Hunter's report at lfc.tv.

Well done boys!!!

Howard Stern's a Hypocritical Bum!

I've never like this dork, his show or his poncified film making him out to be some wonder guy. Now the so called "Free-Speech" lobbists admits to not giving a crap about free-speech and just about his own ""free-speech.

Here's the audio (ytmnd) of Howard Stern on the Sean Hannity radio show on Tuesday discussing Opie and Anthony, and his treatment of them during their tenure at Infinity Broadcasting. Basically he used what power he had in the company to ban them from talking about him while they were on the air.

When told that his actions don't exactly fall into line with his free speech claims, his repsonse was simply "I don't want anyone knocking me. Their strategy was let's bash Howard Stern, my stategy is shut them down. I win, they lose, that's it."

I just wish this loser would disappear of the face of the earth and I hope he loses his law suit along with all his money.

As for Robin Quivering that's a different story (apart from her taste in friends) she can do no wrong - as demonstrated below:

Youngsters Aiming for the Final

Liverpool's young starlets aim to reach the final of the FA Youth Cup when they take a 2-1 first leg lead to Southampton's St Mary's Stadium (thanks to goals from Jack Hobbs and Craig Lindfield) for the second leg of the semi-final at 7:30 tonight.

Steve Heighway's team head to St Mary's Stadium full of confidence that they can reach the final of the FA Youth Cup for the first time since they won it in 1996. Goals from Jack Hobbs and Craig Lindfield have put Liverpool in the driving seat ahead of the second leg and the goal Southampton scored doesn't count double as there are no away goals rule in the FA Youth Cup.

"Fortunately the away goal doesn't count in this competition so we will go to Southampton with confidence," Heighway told Liverpoolfc.tv. "Southampton are a good side and it will be a tough game but we will give it a good go because we've still got our noses ahead."

Liverpool's youngsters will be urged to play their normal game tonight as they lie just 90 minutes away from a place in this season's FA Youth Cup final.

Although a draw will take them safely through to the final coach John Owens insists the emphasis must be on going out to win the match tonight. "Looking at the Youth Cup it is a major event in the season and we are delighted to be doing so well. But it is not an end in itself. Okay it will end and someone will win the cup and we would like it to be us. That then will go into history. But what we want is that these boys use these games to progress and develop into players who can go from the Academy into the reserves and from the reserves into the first team."

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

This from St. Patricks Day.com:
Saint Patrick is believed to have been born in the late fourth century, and is often confused with Palladius, a bishop who was sent by Pope Celestine in 431 to be the first bishop to the Irish believers in Christ.

Saint Patrick was the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland who is credited with bringing christianity to Ireland. Most of what is known about him comes from his two works, the Confessio, a spiritual autobiography, and his Epistola, a denunciation of British mistreatment of Irish christians.

Saint Patrick described himself as a “most humble-minded man, pouring forth a continuous paean of thanks to his Maker for having chosen him as the instrument whereby multitudes who had worshipped idols and unclean things had become the people of God.”

Saint Patrick is most known for driving the snakes from Ireland. It is true there are no snakes in Ireland, but there probably never have been - the island was separated from the rest of the continent at the end of the Ice Age. As in many old pagan religions, serpent symbols were common and often worshipped. Driving the snakes from Ireland was probably symbolic of putting an end to that pagan practice. While not the first to bring christianity to Ireland, it is Patrick who is said to have encountered the Druids at Tara and abolished their pagan rites. The story holds that he converted the warrior chiefs and princes, baptizing them and thousands of their subjects in the “Holy Wells” that still bear this name.

There are several accounts of Saint Patrick’s death. One says that Patrick died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, on March 17, 460 A.D. His jawbone was preserved in a silver shrine and was often requested in times of childbirth, epileptic fits, and as a preservative against the “evil eye.” Another account says that St. Patrick ended his days at Glastonbury, England and was buried there. The Chapel of St. Patrick still exists as part of Glastonbury Abbey.

Lent Exception
Interestingly enough I heard on the radio that the bishops have said that it is okay for Catholics to eat meat today - eventhough it's a Friday in Lent.

However, I'm not sure it is goes beyond enjoying eating more that the traditional St. Paddy's Corned Beef & Cabbage or not.

It seems that not all Bishops have said that it's okay, although it seems the overwhelming majority in the US do (and I would suspect in Ireland too). There's no papal directive on this apparently and since eating meat on a Friday during lent is not considered a "mortal" sin by the Catholic Church, exceptions (and presumablely edicts from the bishops) can be made.

My catholic friends at work aren't buying this though...but none are Irish!

Photo from Barking Moonbat

Brooke is Back - RockStar "Supernova"

After a successful first season when INXS searched for their new singer (replacing the late Michael Hutchence) RockStar will be back, this thime looking for a new singer to front their new band, made up of old rockers Tommy Lee (Motley Crue-drummer) and guitarists Jason Newsted (Metallica) and Gilby Clarke (Guns N' Roses).

Variety reports that songwriter-performer Butch Walker has been signed to produce Supernova's first album, to be released just before the new band hits the road in 2007.

The most important thing though is that Brooke Burke will be returning with Dave Navarro as hosts. Each episode will also now feature guest appearances by celebs or rockers. "Friends of mine, like Slash, Macy Gray, Moby and Rob Zombie, will join us and throw in their two cents about who should stay and who should go," Navarro said.

The original RockStar was great seeing all the old guys in INXS, great music and (for the most part) great performers. I've got to wander what Supernova will have to offer though. INXS did clinic on style, song selection, etc. What will Supernova do: clinics on drugs, getting drunk and sleeping with strippers.

Personally, I'll only be watching it to check out Brooke and any skimpy outfit she decides to wear - the rest of it will be a trainwreck. I'm not expecting the same kind of callibre of contestants and I don't expect much from Supernova either!

Your Tax Dollars at Work!

You’re out on patrol, choppering through the skies over the war zone in Iraq. While scanning around with night vision goggle you notice activity in a parked car behind a building. You zoom with the goggles and slowly the picture comes into focus ....

Chopper Observer: “02 to 26. Do you copy?”
HQ Comm unit: “Go ahead, 02.”
Chopper Observer: “We have activity here but I don’t think we need to report it.”
HQ Comm Unit: “What you got, 02?”
Chopper Observer: “Well .... it looks like fornication in a convertible.”
HQ Comm Unit: “Whaaaaaaaat?”
(Entire chopper crew heard cracking up in background)

Watch video here, download here [7 mins = 11.3Mb]

Taken from Barking Moonbat, video from College Humor.

Interesting Illusion

If you watch the above images from your seat in front of the computer, Mrs. Angry is on the left, and Miss. Calm is on the right.

Now get up from your seat, and move back about eight feet.

They switch places!!

Apparently the above illusion was created by Phillippe G. Schyns and Aude Oliva of the
University of Glasgow.

Some people believe that this just goes to prove that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all of the time. I believe that the images just goes to show you can never understand women: they look fine from a distance, and then when you get up close, they're all pissed off at you. Or alternatively they look like they're fine, but inside they're pissed off at you.

Wednesday Night Football

Premiership: Liverpool v Fulham

Robbie Fowler has scored his first goal for the mighty reds since returning to Anfield and Liverpool are now 3-1 against Fulham. Michael Brown scored an own goal after John Collins equalized for Fulham. Morientes is the scorer of the third. There is 5 Minutes left to play.

UPDATE:
WOW! with minutes to go Crouch has scored as has Stephen Warnock - his first for the club.

LFC 5 Fulham 1. - FULL TIME!

Striker Problems at LFC? You're having a laugh!

REPORT.


UEFA Cup: Roma vs Middlesbrough
My top pick to win the UEFA Cup this year have only five more minutes to score again, they are are 2-1 up against Middlesbrough in the capital city, but are currently losing due to the away-goal-rule.

One Minute into stoppage time: Mexes receives his second yellow card and doesn't even wait to see red before he is off the pitch. The Roma's ten men only have two minutes to save the tie. It's looking very bleak for Roma now and Middlesbrough could pull off an upset here.

And that's it Middlesbrough go through. I didn't expect that! If they go all the way expect calls for McClaren for England, they cry your hearts out!


FA Cup: West Ham v Bolton
The game has gone into ectra time after the game finished 1-1 at Upton Park. The winner of this tie will go on to play Manchester City in the quarter-finals.

West Ham are now ahead, and it's that man Harewood again with the goal!

There's the bleak contrast between McClaren & Allardyce now: one has gone through (at the expense a of a top Italian team) to the quarter finals in Europe, the other is stuggling to do the same in the FA Cup!

2 minutes left of extra time and West Ham are looking good.

That's it, West Ham are though and there's another nail in Sam for England's coffin!

Banana Boat Trip Remix

I've only seen bit's of the Boat Trip, somehow I missed this scene, I'll be adding that movie to my Netflix Queue ASAP!

Taken from Save Manny.

Got Milk? HELL YEAH !

This guy running the NOTmilk website is an absolute nut job!

With his hall of shame, going on about Spike Lee "betraying 90% of his race!" or Larry King "53 slices of bacon each day, 19,000 in each year - the equivalent cholesterol contained in milk" - what in a glass!? A pint!? Or some arbitary amount the author's thinking up!?

There's a bunch of crap shoved in it because they over milk the poor cows and then a bunch of crap is thown in by the dairies to counteract it, so sure it's not as good as it once was or should be. But to start harping on that ist's bad for you - give me a break.

I'm sure the various Milk Boards have plenty of clout so they can iron over all the cracks. But people have been drinking milk for millenia. "The Milk of the Land" is a phrase eons old talking about the wealth of it and all the good things that can come out of it!

There are even tribes in some parts of the world that survive almost solely on the stuff! Personally I get through about ½ a gallon of fat-free a day.

If you really want to see how something is look around at other people. I've known many vegetarians (poor bastards) and a number of vegans, and while most vegetarians I know were very healthy I've not seen one of those vegans look or act anything close to healthy - or even happy come to that!

Excellent picture stolen from Evil Dan's blog.

Virtual Girlfriend

Some genius has come up with the idea of a virtual girlfriend for all of the computer geeks out there.

Of course ideally you could choose the height, colour, size of the woman, but this will have to do. Another thing that would make it better is a zoom!

All you have to do is enter a command and she'll do it!

Of course she is a blonde, so more often that not she'll just shrug her shoulders 'cause she doesn't know what you want. So, if you're going to try it, keep your commands short, simple and dirty. So "What is 2+2", "You're a nice person" or "Come home and meet my parents" will just lead to her shrugging.

What she really wants to hear are the nice simple commands, like "dance", "kiss", "spread", "nipples", "strip", "pussy", " "lick", "sex", "suck" (this is when her friend enters the room and the zoom could really come in handy!) or "Suck My Coc....."

Alonso Wins, Alonso Loses

Okay it was a crap day, Alonso won (Ferrari at least came second), England lost to France in the 6 Nations, Man Scum won, and most importantly Liverpool lost at Highbury (with Alonso getting sent off).

Bond Begins?

Casino Royal, to be released in November this year is the 21st Bond film and (despite all of the stupid website out there against the new actor) it looks like it really will be a "coming of age" film.

Bond, who for the first time will be played by a blonde actor (I don't know why that's an issue for some people - Bond was never a genius to begin with), goes back to the start of Ian Fleming's series, carrying out his initial two assassinations and earning his license to kill.

There will be no "Q" (so less gadgetry and more action) or Moneypenny (so no more lame double-entendres) and presumably "M" will be a man again (although Judi Dench was pretty decent...most of the time). Director Martin Campbell told reporters that Bond will makes mistakes and screw ups, finds violence hard to take, he won't admit it. He has to do two killings, (one is very messy) and he falls in genuinely love with a girl.

But Bond, is not always nice. "He's a hard guy, that's the difference I think," said special effects supervisor Chris Corbould, "There will be plenty of action."

One chase scene filmed in the Bahamas see Bond trying to run down terrorist Mollaka in a bulldozer, and then follows him on foot through a construction site, jumping from a 140-foot crane to a 120-foot crane. Mollaka is played by Sebastien Foucan, French co-founder of a popular urban sports trend called FreeRunning (also known as UrbanRunning or Parkour) and his powerful running style should make Bond appear clumsy or as Craig says, "Sort of fallible." The UrbanRunning scene along will be worth seeing and bringing it evenmore into the limelight.

"Casino Royale" will be a return to the roots, said co-producer Barbara Broccoli. That was one reason why EON dumped Pierce Brosnan, the most successful of the five Bond actors to date, and is taking a gamble with a new, younger face. "If you don't grow and change you die and we felt this was the right time and the right story to tell, and Daniel was the right guy to do it."

Although I liked the idea of Brosnan as Bond, that was back when Dalton was chosen, the series has gotten even more cheesy and unbelievable - it's meant to be a action flick not science-fiction! He would have been better in License to Kill & The Living Daylights, a better looking guy and a lot more suave, by the time he was brought in, the writing style had changed and he was old.

For me there's a parallell with the Batman movie series (athough that is a much younger franchise). It too started off well with Michael Keaton, and was carried on pretty well with Val Kilmer (who's in 9 films to be released this year!), but later ran into dire trouble when George Clueless came along with Brokeback Batman or Batman & Robin as they called it in theaters - why hasn't been a parody on that yet?...It's an easy target that would require little work.

What we need is something somewhere between Matt Damon's "Bourne" and Bale's interpretation in "Batman Beyond". I'm hopeful that Craig will give to Bond what Christian Bale brought to Batman: a sense of realism for a larger than life character. Bale brought Batman out of the realm of the super-fantasy and back into the realm more similar to our real world, which is where Craig has to bring Bond back to.

Good Luck Ladies

Liverpool Ladies are hoping to clinch a first Women's FA Cup Final appearance in ten years today when they meet Leeds United in a semi-final tie at Guiseley AFC's Nethermoor Park (kick-off 3pm).

Having defeated Newcastle United on penalties in the previous round hopes are high that the class of 1996 can be emulated.

Arsenal or Charlton await in the final, which is to be played at Millwall's New Den on May 1.

Orgasms from Around the World

Click on the picture, then scroll half-way down the page to view the flash file.

Mouse Traps Are Better Than Dominos

What people with way too much time on their hands like to do:

As seen on Break.com